💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (1152)
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just handed Claude your mouse and keyboard like it's no big deal
Anthropic released Claude 3.5 Sonnet with computer use that lets the model move your cursor, click buttons, and type on your actual machine. It can open spreadsheets, browse websites, and complete multi-step tasks without any code from the user. The announcement came directly from Anthropic at anthropic.com/news/3-5-models-and-computer-use.
I am NOT okay with this: Mistral just dropped a 123-billion-parameter model you can run on your own machine
Mistral released Mistral Large 2, a 123B parameter open-weights model that matches GPT-4 level performance. Anyone can download the weights and run it locally without paying API fees or sending data to third parties. The announcement is at mistral.ai/news/mistral-large-2407.
EXCUSE ME?! Organic search only dropped 2.5 percent, but these companies are still selling us the sky is falling?!
Previsible analyzed organic search traffic from February 2024 through November 2025 and found a 2.5 percent decline instead of the 25 to 50 percent drop that AI fearmongers claimed. YMYL sites were tracked alongside general results to measure real impact on medical, legal, and financial pages. The data comes from the December 2025 report at position.digital/blog/ai-seo-statistics.
Who gave these tools permission to crawl my site and then tell me how to write?! I want a REFUND on the future.
HubSpot recommends using AI for site crawls, rank tracking, schema validation, and broken link checks while requiring human review before publishing. AI handles content briefs, competitor analysis, and keyword clustering, but positioning, editorial voice, and final strategy stay human. The guidance appears in their December 2025 post at blog.hubspot.com/marketing/ai-seo.
EXCUSE ME?! They are scanning your moles with AI and calling it 'longevity' now?
ScanSkinAI lets users upload photos of moles and skin spots to an AI model that screens for irregularities, then routes flagged cases to dermatologist consultations and stores images for year-over-year tracking. The site promotes the full pipeline from free AI check to paid expert review without naming the underlying model or dataset size.
Who gave Haut.ai PERMISSION to sell 150 skin parameters to beauty brands behind your back?
Haut.ai sells an enterprise platform that runs smartphone or webcam images through computer vision models to output 150+ metrics including wrinkles, pores, redness, and pigmentation, then feeds those numbers into recommendation engines that suggest specific product SKUs. Brands integrate the API to personalize offers at checkout and claim higher conversion rates.
EXCUSE ME, Bryson DeChambeau just bought an AI golf app for eight figures and now Silicon Valley wants our swing data too?!
Bryson DeChambeau led investors to acquire Sportsbox AI in April for an undisclosed eight-figure sum. The company's 3D Golf app uses motion-capture to build an avatar of your swing and sells the data onward. The CNN Business article claims this will supercharge the multibillion-dollar golf equipment market.
Who gave Greenside AI permission to run swing analysis on my iPhone's Neural Engine without asking?!
Greenside AI uses the iPhone GPU and Neural Engine for offline swing analysis. It measures biomechanical angles then applies predictive modeling to suggest fixes. The app runs anywhere with or without internet.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just dropped Claude 3.5 Sonnet and it beats GPT-4o on coding and vision. Who gave them PERMISSION to make a free model this strong?!
Anthropic released Claude 3.5 Sonnet, a model that outperforms GPT-4o on coding benchmarks and can interpret complex charts and diagrams. It is available free on claude.ai with higher rate limits for paid Pro users. Freelancers and indie developers now have a stronger free coding and data-analysis tool.
I am NOT okay with this. Meta just put Llama 3 8B on your phone and laptop so you can run AI offline. My nephew warned me about cloud spying and now we have a real escape hatch.
Meta released Llama 3 8B, an 8-billion parameter model that runs locally via Ollama on phones and laptops without internet. Users get private chat, coding help, and document Q&A with zero cloud costs or data sharing. Small teams now have always-available AI that works completely offline.
EXCUSE ME?! A Med Spa Is Using AI to Digitally Demo Your Face Like It's a Video Game and Forcing You to Pay for the Privilege
Aura's simulation technology lets practitioners upload patient photos and model potential dermal filler placements or facial balancing adjustments before any needle touches skin. The system renders side-by-side digital previews showing subtle volume changes so patients can approve or reject the look in real time. Source data from the NYC med spa shows this cuts consultation revisions by 40 percent and reduces follow-up appointments.
I Am NOT Okay With This: A Free AI Mole Checker That Promises Skin Longevity Tracking While Harvesting Your Photos for Who Knows What
ScanSkinAI's free AI mole checker runs uploaded images through a convolutional neural network trained on dermatology datasets to flag irregular moles and assign longevity risk scores. The platform then offers paid expert consultations and stores your scan history for long-term tracking, creating a permanent skin health profile. The site claims the full toolkit covers screening, consultation booking, and year-over-year comparison in one dashboard.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau Just Bought an AI Golf App for Eight Figures and Nobody Asked the Rest of Us
In April, two-time US Open winner Bryson DeChambeau led investors in buying Sportsbox AI for an undisclosed eight-figure sum. The company's 3D Golf app uses motion-capture to turn a phone video of your swing into a 3D avatar that analyzes your mechanics and suggests fixes.
WHOOP Raised $200 Million and Now Wants to Track Every Athlete's Heart Data While the Rest of Us Pay for the Privilege
WHOOP, the wearable tech company, raised $200 million in 2021 at a $3.6 billion valuation with backing from Kevin Durant and Patrick Mahomes. The strap measures heart rate variability, sleep, and strain 24/7 and feeds the numbers into an AI coaching engine that tells users when to train or rest.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just gave Claude 3.5 Sonnet the ability to hijack your mouse and keyboard through the API
Anthropic released computer use capabilities in Claude 3.5 Sonnet that lets the model control a mouse cursor, click buttons, type on keyboards, and navigate desktop apps and websites through API calls. Small teams can now script repetitive computer tasks without hiring developers or paying for enterprise automation software. The feature is available to API users at standard Sonnet pricing rates.
Who gave Meta PERMISSION to dump a 405 billion parameter model on the world for free?
Meta released Llama 3.1 405B as fully open weights, matching or exceeding closed models like GPT-4 on multiple academic benchmarks while running on local hardware or affordable cloud instances. Developers can download the complete model files and fine-tune them without paying per-token API fees or hitting usage caps. The release includes the full 405B parameter weights plus smaller 70B and 8B variants.
EXCUSE ME?! Who gave med spas permission to scan your entire future face with AI before you even sit in the chair?
Aura’s simulation technology lets practitioners upload your photo and digitally model dermal fillers or facial balancing changes so patients see predicted outcomes before any needle touches skin. The system runs longevity diagnostics alongside the visual mockups in a New York City med spa covered by Forbes on March 18, 2026.
I am NOT okay with another free AI tool scraping photos of my moles and promising skin longevity scores.
ScanSkinAI runs an AI mole checker that screens uploaded images for irregularities, then bundles the results into expert consultations and long-term tracking inside one dashboard. The platform markets itself as a complete skin health toolkit combining automated screening with ongoing monitoring.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau just spent eight figures on Sportsbox AI so Silicon Valley can track your every golf swing
Bryson DeChambeau and investors bought Sportsbox AI for an undisclosed eight-figure sum in April. The app uses 3D motion-capture to turn your phone video into a digital avatar that measures your swing angles and club path. CNN Business reported the deal on June 5, 2026.
I am NOT okay with Greenside AI turning my iPhone into a spy that grades my golf swing with no internet
Greenside AI runs entirely on the iPhone's GPU and Neural Engine to analyze swing biomechanics without needing internet. The app then applies predictive modeling to identify problem areas in your swing after it measures angles and timing. Their site at greenside.ai promotes the offline capability as a selling point.