💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (1146)
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just handed Claude your mouse and keyboard like it's no big deal
Anthropic released Claude 3.5 Sonnet with computer use that lets the model move your cursor, click buttons, and type on your actual machine. It can open spreadsheets, browse websites, and complete multi-step tasks without any code from the user. The announcement came directly from Anthropic at anthropic.com/news/3-5-models-and-computer-use.
I am NOT okay with this: Mistral just dropped a 123-billion-parameter model you can run on your own machine
Mistral released Mistral Large 2, a 123B parameter open-weights model that matches GPT-4 level performance. Anyone can download the weights and run it locally without paying API fees or sending data to third parties. The announcement is at mistral.ai/news/mistral-large-2407.
EXCUSE ME?! Organic search only dropped 2.5 percent, but these companies are still selling us the sky is falling?!
Previsible analyzed organic search traffic from February 2024 through November 2025 and found a 2.5 percent decline instead of the 25 to 50 percent drop that AI fearmongers claimed. YMYL sites were tracked alongside general results to measure real impact on medical, legal, and financial pages. The data comes from the December 2025 report at position.digital/blog/ai-seo-statistics.
Who gave these tools permission to crawl my site and then tell me how to write?! I want a REFUND on the future.
HubSpot recommends using AI for site crawls, rank tracking, schema validation, and broken link checks while requiring human review before publishing. AI handles content briefs, competitor analysis, and keyword clustering, but positioning, editorial voice, and final strategy stay human. The guidance appears in their December 2025 post at blog.hubspot.com/marketing/ai-seo.
EXCUSE ME?! They are scanning your moles with AI and calling it 'longevity' now?
ScanSkinAI lets users upload photos of moles and skin spots to an AI model that screens for irregularities, then routes flagged cases to dermatologist consultations and stores images for year-over-year tracking. The site promotes the full pipeline from free AI check to paid expert review without naming the underlying model or dataset size.
Who gave Haut.ai PERMISSION to sell 150 skin parameters to beauty brands behind your back?
Haut.ai sells an enterprise platform that runs smartphone or webcam images through computer vision models to output 150+ metrics including wrinkles, pores, redness, and pigmentation, then feeds those numbers into recommendation engines that suggest specific product SKUs. Brands integrate the API to personalize offers at checkout and claim higher conversion rates.
EXCUSE ME, Bryson DeChambeau just bought an AI golf app for eight figures and now Silicon Valley wants our swing data too?!
Bryson DeChambeau led investors to acquire Sportsbox AI in April for an undisclosed eight-figure sum. The company's 3D Golf app uses motion-capture to build an avatar of your swing and sells the data onward. The CNN Business article claims this will supercharge the multibillion-dollar golf equipment market.
Who gave Greenside AI permission to run swing analysis on my iPhone's Neural Engine without asking?!
Greenside AI uses the iPhone GPU and Neural Engine for offline swing analysis. It measures biomechanical angles then applies predictive modeling to suggest fixes. The app runs anywhere with or without internet.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just gave Claude 3.5 Sonnet the ability to hijack your mouse and keyboard through the API
Anthropic released computer use capabilities in Claude 3.5 Sonnet that lets the model control a mouse cursor, click buttons, type on keyboards, and navigate desktop apps and websites through API calls. Small teams can now script repetitive computer tasks without hiring developers or paying for enterprise automation software. The feature is available to API users at standard Sonnet pricing rates.
Who gave Meta PERMISSION to dump a 405 billion parameter model on the world for free?
Meta released Llama 3.1 405B as fully open weights, matching or exceeding closed models like GPT-4 on multiple academic benchmarks while running on local hardware or affordable cloud instances. Developers can download the complete model files and fine-tune them without paying per-token API fees or hitting usage caps. The release includes the full 405B parameter weights plus smaller 70B and 8B variants.
EXCUSE ME?! Who gave med spas permission to scan your entire future face with AI before you even sit in the chair?
Aura’s simulation technology lets practitioners upload your photo and digitally model dermal fillers or facial balancing changes so patients see predicted outcomes before any needle touches skin. The system runs longevity diagnostics alongside the visual mockups in a New York City med spa covered by Forbes on March 18, 2026.
I am NOT okay with another free AI tool scraping photos of my moles and promising skin longevity scores.
ScanSkinAI runs an AI mole checker that screens uploaded images for irregularities, then bundles the results into expert consultations and long-term tracking inside one dashboard. The platform markets itself as a complete skin health toolkit combining automated screening with ongoing monitoring.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau just spent eight figures on Sportsbox AI so Silicon Valley can track your every golf swing
Bryson DeChambeau and investors bought Sportsbox AI for an undisclosed eight-figure sum in April. The app uses 3D motion-capture to turn your phone video into a digital avatar that measures your swing angles and club path. CNN Business reported the deal on June 5, 2026.
I am NOT okay with Greenside AI turning my iPhone into a spy that grades my golf swing with no internet
Greenside AI runs entirely on the iPhone's GPU and Neural Engine to analyze swing biomechanics without needing internet. The app then applies predictive modeling to identify problem areas in your swing after it measures angles and timing. Their site at greenside.ai promotes the offline capability as a selling point.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just handed Claude 3.5 Sonnet the keys to your entire computer through a public API
Anthropic released Claude 3.5 Sonnet with a Computer Use API that lets the model control mouse movements, click buttons, type text, and navigate desktop applications. Solo developers and small teams can now build agents that fill web forms, use Excel, and complete multi-step tasks without writing custom code for each interaction. The API is live at https://www.anthropic.com/news/3-5-models-and-computer-use.
I am NOT okay with this: Meta dropped a 405-billion-parameter open-source model that actually matches GPT-4 performance
Meta released Llama 3.1 405B, a fully open 405-billion-parameter model that runs on consumer-grade hardware clusters and matches GPT-4 level performance on many benchmarks. Independent developers and small businesses can now download, fine-tune, and run the model locally or on cheap cloud instances without paying per-token API fees. Details at https://ai.meta.com/blog/meta-llama-3-1/.
EXCUSE ME?! HubSpot Is Now Training AI Agents On Your Private Data So It Can Appear In ChatGPT Answers
HubSpot Breeze builds agents trained on your company data to automate workflows and push your brand into AI answers from ChatGPT and Gemini while tracking visibility. The same system instantly turns one piece of content into emails, social posts, and blogs. Source: https://www.hubspot.com/products/artificial-intelligence
I Am NOT Okay With Jasper Building AI Pipelines That Replace Entire Marketing Teams
Jasper Content Pipelines connect your data, strategy, and creative process into one automated system that produces on-brand assets from idea through publication. The platform removes the manual steps between research, writing, and distribution. Source: https://www.jasper.ai/
EXCUSE ME?! This Med Spa Is Using AI To Simulate Your Face Like Some Silicon Valley Experiment
Aura's simulation technology lets practitioners model aesthetic adjustments for treatments like dermal fillers and facial balancing by digitally showing what subtle changes might look like on the patient. The system is part of an AI-powered med spa in NYC that combines longevity diagnostics with these visual simulations. Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/coreincarter/2026/03/18/inside-the-ai-powered-med-spa-bringing-longevity-diagnostics-to-nyc/
I Am NOT Okay With This: Another AI Tool Wants To Scan Your Skin And Track You Forever
ScanSkinAI offers a free AI mole checker that provides AI-powered screening, expert consultations, and long-term tracking as part of a complete skin health toolkit. The platform uses AI to analyze moles and skin conditions while storing your data over time. Source: https://www.scanskinai.com/ai-skin-longevity-checker