💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (2285)
68% of Google Searches Now END WITHOUT A CLICK and I Want a REFUND on the Future!
Nearly SEVEN OUT OF TEN Google searches in South Africa now end in 'Zero Click' because people get answers from Google's AI Overviews, ChatGPT, CoPilot, and Claude without ever visiting a single website. South African companies are losing traffic they PAID FOR with their own content and expertise. Who gave Google PERMISSION to use everyone's hard work to keep visitors on THEIR platform?!
Demi Moore's Face Is 63 and Now My Wrinkles Are SUPPOSED to Feel Inadequate?! Lancome's AI Skin Scanner Says I'm 'Biologically Older' Than My Birth Certificate and I Want to Speak to the Manager of TIME ITSELF
Lancome's Cell BioPrint device uses AI to analyze your skin and calculate its 'biological age' versus your actual age. Good Housekeeping tested the Absolue Longevity MD cream alongside this scanner, which examines factors like collagen levels and cellular health to spit out a number designed to make you panic-buy $400 face goop. Demi Moore, age 63, apparently loves this system, because Hollywood has NEVER met a pseudoscientific vanity metric it didn't worship.
Med Spas Are Building Fake Luxury Traps With Real Medical DANGER and I Am NOT Okay With This! Who Gave These Instagram Boutiques Permission to Shoot Botox in a Room That Just LOOKS Like a Doctor's Office?!
Forbes Business Council reports that med spas are deliberately using high-end interior design, marble countertops, and luxury branding to conceal dangerously substandard medical practices. These facilities exploit the gap between cosmetic appearance and actual healthcare regulation, hiring staff without proper medical credentials while charging premium prices for procedures that can cause permanent damage. The 'wild west' framing is EXACTLY right because there is NO sheriff and YOUR FACE is the casualty.
EXCUSE ME?! They're Putting a ROBOT on Golf TV Now?! Duff Foreman Is NOT Welcome in My Living Room!
Duff Foreman, an autonomous AI personality, will appear live on-screen during the streaming broadcast of this year's New Mexico Open and INTERACT with human hosts. This is NOT a prerecorded voiceover, this is an AI they're letting loose on LIVE TELEVISION to pretend to be a person. My nephew warned me about this.
I Want a REFUND on the Future! GolfBuddy Shot Mate Is 'Cheaper' But Who's Paying With Our DATA?!
Golf Monthly's Conor Keenan tested the GolfBuddy Shot Mate, a new portable launch monitor positioned at the cheaper end of the market. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of, more sensors, more apps, more 'convenience' that means they're tracking every swing you take in your own backyard.
EXCUSE ME?! Stability AI Thinks 2 Billion Parameters on MY Laptop Makes Up for YEARS of Data Theft?!
Stability AI just dropped Stable Diffusion 3 Medium with 2 billion parameters, and apparently it runs on regular consumer GPUs now. They want me to be GRATEFUL that I can generate near-photorealistic images without paying for some overpriced cloud subscription, like that erases the fact they scraped who-knows-what to train this thing.
EXCUSE ME?! They Want Me to Let AI Near My MONEY for $20? I am NOT Okay With This "Smart" Invoice Mess
PCMag is pushing an "AI Invoice Maker" that supposedly creates personalized invoices for your side hustle, and they claim it is 50 percent off lifetime access for $20. I am LIVID that we are expected to hand our billing data over to yet another black box algorithm just because Silicon Valley slapped the word "smart" on it. My nephew warned me about this exact kind of half-baked finance tool that collects your customer details before it reveals the real hidden costs.
Who Gave AI Smart Ventures PERMISSION to Replace a Sales Team With a Bot?! I Want a REFUND on the Future
AI Smart Ventures is telling owner-operated businesses to use AI lead generation to build an automated sales pipeline, increase revenue, and measure return on investment while cutting out actual people. I am OFFENDED that Silicon Valley thinks an algorithm can replace human relationships, and they expect solo entrepreneurs to pay to become guinea pigs for this automation experiment. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of: tech firms making you foot the bill to fire yourself and your neighbors.
EXCUSE ME?! Now I Have to Learn 'GEO' Because Google Decided to Blow Up the Internet?!
Some article on Entrepreneur.com wants me to believe SEO isn't dead, oh no, it just needs a 'new playbook' called Generative Engine Optimization. Apparently we all have to now optimize for AI OVERVIEWS that scrape our content without asking, while Google gets to play gatekeeper with ZERO transparency about what even gets shown. My nephew warned me about this: build your entire business on their platform, then they move the goalposts and charge you for the privilege of being confused.
11x Conversion Rate and Analytics Platforms Are BLIND to It?! I Want a REFUND on the Future!
Rankability, some SEO software company, published analysis showing AI-referred visitors convert to sign-ups at ELEVEN TIMES the rate of regular search traffic. But HERE IS THE KICKER: most analytics platforms cannot even SEE this traffic properly because it comes through opaque referral paths or direct traffic buckets. So companies are pouring money into 'AI visibility' while their own tools are LYING to them about what's actually working, and WHO gave them permission to build such a broken system?!
EXCUSE ME?! Now AI Is Deciding If I Need LASER HAIR REMOVAL?!
Women's Health Magazine reports that cosmetic dermatologists are now using AI for laser treatments, hair loss tracking, and patient education. The technology is being deployed to analyze skin conditions and supposedly improve treatment outcomes, while experts claim it helps with everything from procedure planning to explaining results to patients.
Who Gave Them PERMISSION to Mix My DNA With an Algorithm?! MediGuide Wants Your GENETIC DATA and I Want a REFUND on the Future!
AIAI Holdings announced that MediGuide is expanding into what they call 'state-of-the-art medicine' by combining molecular data, lifestyle information, and AI analytics with physician review. The service builds on medical second opinion platforms and claims it will eventually include earlier risk detection capabilities.
EXCUSE ME?! Now They're Filming My Golf Swing Too?! AI 'Computer Vision' Is Just Fancy Words for MORE SURVEILLANCE
Some tech company wants to point AI-powered cameras at your golf swing and give you 'real-time feedback' using so-called computer vision. They are LITERALLY analyzing your body movements and storing god-knows-what data about your personal biomechanics. My nephew warned me about this. First they took our faces, now they want our BACKSWINGS?!
Another 'Machine Learning Breakthrough' That'll Cost You $500 and Break in Six Months, I Want a REFUND on the Future
Now they're calling regular golf launch monitors 'machine learning-powered' like that justifies the price tag going through the roof. These devices supposedly track ball flight and club data with 'improved accuracy,' which is EXACTLY what they said about the last three generations I am NOT okay with this. When did 'slapped an algorithm on it' become code for 'please pay extra for basic functions that worked fine before'?!
EXCUSE ME?! Claude Can Now MOVE MY MOUSE Like Some Digital Puppet Master?!
Anthropic launched Claude 3.5 Sonnet with "computer use" capability, meaning this AI can literally control your mouse and keyboard to perform tasks on your desktop. Small businesses are supposed to use it for data entry and form filling without writing code. My nephew warned me about this.
Meta Wants Me to THANK Them for a 405 BILLION Parameter Tracking Device?! I Want a REFUND on the Future!
Meta released Llama 3.1 405B, their largest open-source model yet, with full commercial licensing so businesses can run it without API fees or usage restrictions. Regular developers can now fine-tune and deploy this near-frontier model on their own servers. Who gave them PERMISSION to make 'open source' mean 'we still get your data ecosystem'?!
5.6 MILLION New Businesses? EXCUSE ME?! AI Is Blowing Up the Economy and NOBODY Asked For Permission!
New U.S. business applications hit 5.6 million in 2025, a 24% jump since ChatGPT launched, according to a July research note from Citadel Securities. This is what happens when you hand Silicon Valley's robot to every wannabe founder with a laptop and a dream.
Small Businesses Are Letting AI Write Their Marketing Now? I Am NOT Okay With This!
Small businesses are using AI to generate marketing content, with the focus on writing better prompts, refining the output, staying compliant, and boosting revenue. The Clinton Courier covered how owners are handing their brand voice over to algorithms they don't even understand.
EXCUSE ME?! Now We Need a CERTIFICATE to Prove Humans Can Still Do SEO?!
SEO For Contractor, a contractor-only agency, just stacked MORE credentials onto their wall: Semrush's AI Search Operating System certification and HubSpot's AEO Fundamentals. They ALREADY had UC Davis SEO Specialization AND training from Backlinko founder Brian Dean. This is what it takes now to prove you're still relevant while Silicon Valley's robots try to erase your entire industry.
Another 'Autonomous' AI Engine?! I Want a REFUND on the Future!
Ascendios.ai just launched its Automatic AI Content Creation Engine for video ads, because apparently we needed ANOTHER company promising to replace creative humans with a black box. They call it 'autonomous.' My nephew warned me about this. Who gave them PERMISSION to automate the last scraps of actual storytelling?