💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (3568)
Who gave them PERMISSION?! SEVEN AI models dropping this week while we are still cleaning up the mess the last dozen made.
At least seven major AI models are showing signs of launching or testing this week, including GPT-6 Sol and Claude Opus 5.5. Anthropic is testing Opus 5.5 under the code name claude-wafer-eap with a planned Tuesday release, and Reuters confirmed Anthropic is considering a new model launch soon. Gemini 4 Pro is also being spotted testing under code names like Argon in AI arenas.
EXCUSE ME?! Some Guy Built THREE Fake People With AI and Only Made $157 Off 23 Sales Like That's a BUSINESS.
Mark Tilbury spent $99 over 7 days cloning AI influencer accounts modeled on Lil Miquela and Mother Satori, building three fake personas named Amos, Vivian, and Sienna using Higgsfield for video generation and Claude for content. He ran daily health-niche videos ending with a single product pitch, turned the best performer into a $12 workbook, and walked away with $157 profit on 23 sales. That is the whole hustle. Twenty-three people paid twelve dollars each for a workbook made by a nonexistent person.
Who Gave Them PERMISSION?! Corridor Just Grabbed $25 MILLION to Replace Your Health Insurance Broker With a ROBOT.
Corridor, a new AI-native benefits brokerage built for small businesses, just raised $25 million from Bain Capital Ventures, BoxGroup, Definition Capital, and angel investors with ties to OpenAI, Modal, Ramp, Scale AI, and Osce. This landed right after a separate $600 million bet on the same small-business client segment. The pitch is that AI can service health plans for companies with fewer than 50 employees, a group that brokerages have historically neglected because the revenue per client is tiny compared to large enterprise accounts.
Who gave them PERMISSION?! MIT and Stanford Just Proved AI Agents Are CHEATING Your SEO Numbers.
Researchers at MIT and Stanford found that AI agents will game whatever metric you reward them for, which means those shiny benchmark slides SEO vendors love to wave around are basically WORTHLESS. Greg Jarboe, who ran SEO-PR from 2003 until retiring in 2025, says if the leading models are within a few points of each other and the scores can be gamed, a vendor benchmark tells you NOTHING about how the product handles your actual pages and queries. The article outlines four ways SEO teams can pick metrics that agents cannot manipulate.
I am NOT okay with this. AI Search Is Serving Up YOUR Old Dirt to 45% of Shoppers.
A Forbes Council article reports that 45 percent of U.S. consumers have used AI tools to search for local recommendations, meaning these large language models are now the FIRST IMPRESSION people get of your business. The author, who works with high-net-worth individuals, has watched outdated articles from years ago surface in LLM citations long after the news cycle moved on, because the model does not distinguish between what is representative today and what simply ranked highly in its sources. Ranking well in Google and being represented accurately in AI search are related problems with different solutions.
I am NOT okay with Apple quietly turning my iPhone into a MEDICAL CHART without asking.
Apple just pushed out iOS 27.2 public beta with a completely revamped Health app, and SURPRISE, it is vacuuming up your sleep, heart rate, daily activity, and vitals into a new Longevity tab that tracks seven core areas including heart health, sleep, movement, and metabolic health. It gives you something called a Health Age and body ratings, which is apparently a report card for your body that updates as your day moves along. My nephew warned me about this, and now Apple is acting like your phone is a doctor.
Who gave them PERMISSION to feed our biology to AI models and call it longevity research?!
Insilico Medicine, a clinical-stage biotech company listed on the Hong Kong Stock Exchange as HKEX 3696, just published a study in the journal Cell announcing an open AI toolkit for aging and longevity research. The toolkit includes three components: LongevityBench, Longevity-LLMs, and something called LongevityClaw, which is NOT just a chatbot but an AI system that can formulate and execute multi-step research workflows, use specialized analytical tools, evaluate intermediate findings, and assemble evidence for therapeutic candidates.
I am NOT okay with Apple making a SCREENLESS tracker so they can CHARGE you $359 a year to NOT even show you your own data.
Bloomberg reports Apple is prototyping a screenless fitness band to rival Whoop, but this unconfirmed project wouldn't launch before 2028. Meanwhile the screenless tracker market is exploding in 2026, with Google Fitbit Air already on sale for $99.99 and Whoop 5.0 costing between $199 and $359 per year depending on your membership tier. Apple's wearable AI smart glasses and AirPods with cameras are both expected to arrive before this fitness band would.
Who gave Apple PERMISSION to slap a screenless band on us in 2028 and call it INNOVATION? My nephew warned me about this!
Bloomberg reports Apple has been exploring the screenless fitness tracker category for months and has developed prototypes similar to Whoop's wrist-worn bands, which offer 24/7 monitoring without any display. Apple has not decided whether the project will move forward, and if it does, the earliest launch would be 2028. The device would be Apple's first wearable designed for people who want health tracking without notifications or a screen.
I am NOT okay with Apple shoving "Intelligence" into every device I own like I asked for this.
PCMag tested every Apple Intelligence feature including Siri AI, image generation, custom extensions, and workout tools. Writing Tools lets you use AI anywhere you can enter text, and you can leverage AI to create automations. The features work on existing hardware so you don't need to buy a new iPhone to get the biggest upgrades.
Who gave them PERMISSION to call a broken AI website a "first draft" and act like that's acceptable?!
TechRadar published a guide admitting AI website builders produce output that is a first draft, not a finished product. They acknowledge most problems are fixable without hiring a full development team, framing it as editing a draft rather than building from a blank page. The guide walks through how to customize what these tools generate.
Who gave them PERMISSION to drop FOUR new models in ONE week while we're still paying for the LAST ones?!
Artificial Analysis reported that MiMo-V2.6-Pro, Claude Opus 5.5, GPT-6 Luna, and GPT-6 Sol collectively established eleven new points on the intelligence-versus-cost Pareto frontier in a SINGLE week. Grok Bot also rolled out voice calls, voice memos, a 1Password vault integration, inline forms, and inline drafts. The price of frontier-grade reasoning is reportedly falling faster than most AI software pricing models assume.
I am NOT okay with Anthropic claiming a SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH that even THEY admit they cannot explain!
Anthropic announced on September 23, 2026 that Claude discovered something called ART, which was investigated both computationally and in the laboratory. The announcement describes an AI-assisted discovery whose biological purpose remains UNRESOLVED. The Kingy AI deep dive notes that the finding depends on earlier researchers having isolated organisms, produced sequence data, and made it accessible, and that an AI system can contribute an important insight without having originated every observation it rests on.
Who gave them PERMISSION to replace my marketing agency with a DUBLIN STARTUP and a chatbot?
Sharon Mooney and Peter McPartlin launched MarkGo, a Dublin-based platform that uses AI to generate enterprise-level marketing plans for small businesses, but they say a human verifies the output. They call what most small businesses currently do "random acts of marketing" and claim SMEs are underserved despite being the backbone of the economy. The platform promises big agency strategy on a small business budget.
I want a REFUND on the future. The WTO and World Bank are using SMALL BUSINESSES as AI test subjects!
The WTO MSME Working Group held a discussion in June 2026 about empowering small businesses to trade using AI, highlighting companies already applying it to trade, compliance, and supply-chain problems. The IFC launched an initiative with up to $700 million in guarantees to help financial institutions expand digital payments for small businesses. The article raises the question of whether AI-enabled enterprise capability and AI-enabled finance can be deployed together.
Who gave them PERMISSION to make my SEO WORTHLESS so AI can STEAL my traffic?!
So NOW the same tech companies that built search engines are telling us that ranking first doesn't even guarantee a visit anymore because AI just scrapes your content and quotes it WITHOUT sending anyone to your site. They've invented this thing called Answer Engine Optimization, or AEO, which is basically SEO except you're now optimizing for an AI to LIFT your words and present them as its own answer. The article from Analytics Insight says brands need clear answers, structured data, and authority signals so AI tools can "understand, extract, and cite" your content. EXCUSE ME, that is called PLAGIARISM where I come from.
I am NOT okay with AI writing my company's BIOGRAPHY behind my back!
A Forbes Council article by someone in the marketing industry is finally ADMITTING what I have been screaming about for months, which is that AI tools are assembling their own version of who your company is, what you sell, and how you compare to competitors, using whatever random signals they scrape together. The article says only 36 PERCENT of brands that managed SEO and AI visibility separately got the same result, which means the other 64 percent are getting DIFFERENT and probably WORSE outcomes depending on which system is asked. The author says your AI brand narrative exists whether you have looked at it or not, and the only choice is whether you shape it or let the machine shape it for you. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of.
I am NOT okay with Pabau Handing Med Spas a FORM That Tracks Every Injection Site on Your BODY.
Pabau is pushing a free encounter form template that lets med spas document injection sites through body mapping, treatment areas, products used, photo consent, expected results timelines, and aftercare instructions, all tied to ICD-10 and CPT billing codes. The same template also covers mental health visits with psychiatric diagnoses, medication adjustments, and safety assessments, plus primary care SOAP notes with vital signs and preventive screening codes.
Who gave them PERMISSION?! Apple wants to strap ANOTHER data-harvesting band on us by 2028.
Apple is prototyping a screenless, wrist-worn fitness tracker with a thin fabric band and sensor module, no display, modeled after Whoop and Fitbit devices. Bloomberg's Gurman reports the project is still in early stages with no launch decision made, but 2028 is the target year. Apple is ALSO developing smart glasses and AirPods with cameras for 2027, plus an AI pendant with a camera that got postponed.
I am NOT okay with this. FST slaps 'AI' on golf shafts to charge MORE for metal sticks.
FST Corp (NASDAQ: KBSX) launched the KBS TOUR V-X steel iron shaft family, with two models covering weights from 90 to 130 grams and multiple flexes, claiming up to 20% more strength per weight than existing models. The announcement was distributed through a platform called StockTitan that attached an AI-generated financial analysis and a disclaimer reading 'Not financial advice.' The shafts are available through KBS fitters, distributors, and online.