💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (2332)
EXCUSE ME?! Semrush is charging us to track how badly AI is already mangling our brand mentions across ChatGPT and Gemini?
Semrush AI Visibility Toolkit scans your brand presence inside ChatGPT, SearchGPT, Gemini, and Perplexity, while Figma AI generates full website designs from plain text prompts. The article from behindrankings.com lists these as top 2026 AI marketing tools without showing any independent proof that the data is accurate or that the generated designs convert.
Who gave them PERMISSION to let AI crawl our entire site while we still pay humans to fix its mistakes?
The HubSpot article recommends using AI for site crawls, rank tracking, schema validation, and broken link checks but insists a human must review every output. It also says to keep content briefs, competitor analysis, and keyword clustering with AI assistance while reserving positioning and editorial judgment for people.
EXCUSE ME?! AI Is Now Taking Selfies at the Med Spa and Charging You for It
Clinics are rolling out 3D facial mapping software, virtual before-and-after planners, and AI skin diagnostic apps like Haut.AI and Perfect Corp to speed up consultations and lock in treatment plans. The PMC article on AI in aesthetic medicine shows these tools are already standard at clinics, replacing the old consultation process with automated scanning and predictive imaging. This means your face gets processed by algorithms before a human even touches it.
I Am NOT Okay With This Med Spa Using AI to Photoshop Your Face Before You Pay
Aura, the AI-powered med spa in New York, uses simulation technology that digitally models dermal fillers and facial balancing so patients can see predicted results before any needles touch skin. The system creates visual mockups of subtle changes, turning the consultation into a sales demo powered by longevity diagnostics layered on top of the aesthetic predictions. Forbes covered how this replaces the traditional in-person assessment with algorithm-generated previews that lock in treatment decisions faster.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau Just Bought an AI Golf App for Eight Figures While the Rest of Us Get Nickel-and-Dimed for Basic Features
In April, Bryson DeChambeau led investors to purchase Sportsbox AI for an undisclosed eight-figure sum. The company's 3D Golf app uses motion-capture technology to generate a digital avatar of a user's golf swing for analysis. The deal targets the multibillion-dollar golf equipment market with AI-driven performance tools.
I am NOT Okay With This: Another App Wants to Analyze Your Body Using Your Own iPhone While You Have Zero Idea Where That Data Goes
Greenside AI runs entirely on the iPhone's GPUs and Neural Engine to analyze golf swings without requiring an internet connection. The app measures biomechanical elements of the swing and applies predictive modeling to identify issues and suggest corrections. Users can access full swing coaching features anywhere regardless of connectivity.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just handed Claude 3.5 Sonnet your mouse and keyboard and called it progress
Claude 3.5 Sonnet now uses computer use API to move your cursor, click buttons, type text, and operate desktop apps like a human. Users can automate tasks in spreadsheets, browsers, and file managers without writing code or paying for enterprise RPA tools. The feature is available through the Anthropic API and the claude.ai interface.
I am NOT okay with this: researchers claim 100x energy cut but Silicon Valley still wants your power bill
A new method replaces traditional matrix multiplications in neural networks with sparse, low-precision operations that use up to 100 times less energy while raising accuracy on image classification benchmarks. The technique was tested on standard GPUs and edge devices, cutting power draw from 300 watts to roughly 3 watts on the same task. Researchers published results showing both lower energy and higher top-1 accuracy compared with full-precision models.
EXCUSE ME?! Med Spas Are Letting AI Scan Your Face Now?!
Clinics are deploying 3D facial mapping software, virtual before-and-after planners, and AI skin diagnostic apps such as Haut.AI and Perfect Corp to analyze skin parameters and generate treatment plans during consultations. These tools replace manual assessments with automated scans that produce personalized recommendations in seconds. The PMC article documents how this shift is already standard practice across aesthetic medicine practices.
Who Gave Haut.AI Permission to Analyze 150 Skin Parameters on Everyone?!
Haut.AI sells an enterprise platform that scans faces for 150-plus skin parameters, generates personalized product recommendations, and claims to increase conversion rates at scale for beauty brands. The system is marketed directly to med-spas and skincare companies as a replacement for human aestheticians during initial assessments. Their site positions the tool as fully automated and ready for immediate deployment.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau Is Using AI to Track 30 Body Points While Swinging a Golf Club and Google Is Selling It as Progress
Bryson DeChambeau's system uses deep learning with proprietary 2D and 3D models to track over 30 key points on the body, club, and ball, logging outcomes at top of swing, impact, follow-through, and finish. The technology runs on Google Cloud infrastructure. Source: Google Cloud Blog.
I Am NOT Okay With This: Bryson DeChambeau Just Bought Sportsbox AI for Eight Figures and Now They Want to Put Motion Capture Avatars in Every Golf Bag
In April, Bryson DeChambeau led investors to acquire Sportsbox AI for an undisclosed eight-figure sum. The company's 3D Golf app builds a motion-capture avatar from a user's swing video. Source: CNN Business.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just gave Claude the keys to your mouse and keyboard?!
Anthropic released Claude 3.5 Sonnet with a Computer Use beta that lets the model control your cursor, click buttons, type text, and navigate desktop apps directly. The feature works through a tool that captures screenshots and sends mouse and keyboard commands back to your machine without any custom code. Small businesses and freelancers can now automate tasks like invoice processing and data entry that used to require manual clicking.
Who gave Meta permission to hand everyone a free 405 billion parameter model?!
Meta open-sourced Llama 3.1 405B with full model weights so anyone can download and run near-GPT-4 performance on their own hardware or cheap cloud GPUs. The release includes the 405B, 70B, and 8B checkpoints plus fine-tuning code on Hugging Face and Meta's GitHub. Developers skip API fees by hosting the model locally or on rented A100s for roughly one tenth the cost of OpenAI calls.
EXCUSE ME?! HubSpot is telling us to let AI crawl our sites while humans still babysit the output. Who gave them PERMISSION to make us do twice the work for the same rankings?
HubSpot's guide splits SEO tasks into AI-friendly automation like site crawls, rank tracking, schema validation, and broken link checks versus human-only work on content briefs, competitor analysis, and keyword clustering. They recommend AI for speed on repetitive checks but require human review for judgment, voice, and strategy decisions.
I am NOT okay with this. Yotpo is pushing us to optimize for AI Overviews that steal our traffic while still charging us for the tools. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of.
Yotpo's 2026 guide warns that traditional rankings no longer guarantee traffic because consumers now get answers directly from AI Overviews and LLMs instead of clicking through to sites. They recommend shifting budget toward Answer Engine Optimization tactics that target how LLMs synthesize and cite sources.
EXCUSE ME?! Who gave Haut AI permission to scan 150 skin parameters and sell personalized skincare without asking us first?
Haut AI built an enterprise platform that scans faces and detects over 150 skin parameters, then feeds those numbers into recommendation engines so beauty brands can push individualized product suggestions at scale and boost conversion rates.
I am NOT okay with this: an AI med spa in New York is now running longevity diagnostics and digital simulations on real patients
Aura Med Spa in NYC added AI simulation software that models dermal filler placements and facial balancing adjustments, letting practitioners show patients a digital preview of potential aesthetic changes before any needle touches skin.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau just dropped an 8-figure sum on Sportsbox AI to turn your golf swing into a data-harvesting 3D avatar nightmare
In April, two-time US Open winner Bryson DeChambeau led investors acquiring Sportsbox AI for an undisclosed 8-figure sum. The company's 3D Golf app uses motion-capture technology to create a digital avatar of your swing. CNN Business reports this move targets the multibillion-dollar golf equipment market with AI analysis.
I am NOT okay with this. Greenside AI is using your iPhone's Neural Engine to analyze your golf swing and sell you coaching you never asked for
Greenside AI runs entirely on your iPhone's GPUs and Neural Engine for swing analysis without needing internet. The app measures biomechanical elements of your swing then applies predictive modeling to identify issues. Users can access full swing coaching features from any location worldwide.